Lost for Words
by saviourshope
Summary: Killian's getting ready for his first real date with Emma and it brings up all kinds of emotions.


_A/N: Okay so… I have a lot of stuff to do for Uni so naturally I wrote another short fanfic. It's basically the opposite to what I wrote a few days ago. Don't wait up was Emma's POV getting ready for the date, this one is Killian's POV (which is why the last bit has some of the same dialogue and such as the other fic). _  
_Same as with the last one, I'm still getting back to writing and I wrote this now and since I want to post it before the actual episode, there's no real time to go over it again and again. I got the idea from the promo and the script tease.  
_

* * *

**300 years could not have prepared him for this moment.** 300 years of life and it hit him like a lighting bolt. Only a few short days ago he had been uncertain about her feelings for him. And then she had confessed to him that she could not lose him.  
It hadn't change her behaviour as such, she was still Emma, guarded and sometimes a bit edgy and dismissive but he knew her and he now knew that she felt at least a tiny bit like he did. It made everything more bearable and he was not going to give up on them any time soon.  
They hadn't managed to catch a break what with the Snow Queen running lose and he'd given her space – something was up with her, he assumed she couldn't shake the feeling that the Snow Queen knew her – but he'd also tried to spend more time with her. Only then she'd been a bit flippant and he had been about to walk away when she frustratingly asked him out on an actual date. And really, 300 years and he was not prepared.

"You what?" he asked surprised.

"I'm here to ask you on a date," she repeated and he couldn't help but break out in a wide grin, head cocked to the side. He took a step closer to her, scratching his ear. Had he heard correctly?

"You're asking me out on a date. An actual one, without running after snow monsters or snow queens?"

She nodded, uncertainty wavering in her eyes and it made his heart clench. After all this time she was still hesitant. She still wasn't sure where this was going. She trusted him and yet there was still part of her that she kept locked away out of fear of being wrong. It pained him to see it. Not because it hurt _his_ feelings but because she hurt herself.

"I would be delighted to take you out on a date," he said.

"No, I'm asking _you_ out, I know how to plan a date" she replied, irritation in her eyes.

"You know how to chase a monster. _I _know how to plan a night out," he retorted smiling, stepping yet another step closer.

Emma's eyes softened and a smile spread on her face, softening her features further. He had started to realise the changes in her demeanour whenever he got close to her. Sometimes he felt like she was gravitating towards him but he wasn't quite sure that was it, he hoped it was.  
She lifted a hand and gently grabbed the lapel of his leather jacket, smoothing it down.

"Okay, Mr Smartpants. Pick me up tomorrow at 7 then," she muttered, cheekily looking up at him and he felt a pang in his stomach. How could she make him feel this way every single time she looked at him?

He smirked. "Make sure you don't bring any monsters with you."

"No promises, " she laughed lightly. "I gotta go now, duty calls."

With that, she brushed past him, leaving only a trace of her shampoo and the warmth where her hand had been behind.  
Killian sighed. Yes, he was not prepared but this was a big deal and he was going to make this date perfect.

* * *

He didn't think his hook bothered her. She'd made a comment or two about it once in a while but the only time she'd ever been dismissive had been in the hospital after she'd lost trust in him. He couldn't really blame her for that.

Somehow he felt like he had to be a whole person for her though so he made the decision to ask the Dark One for help. Or a deal. He used his knowledge about the dagger and got the deal; his hand for his continued silence. Gold reminded him that magic always came with a price but the prospect of being able to hold Emma with both his hands was too tempting and he was willing to accept the risks and deal with the consequences later.

Now he was standing in front of the mirror in his room at Granny's, pulling on his new leather jacket. It was a strange feeling to be able to use both hands again. He'd been without it for so long, it felt like the limb wasn't actually part of him any more. It was also strange to be out of his usual garb but he felt that if they were going on a real date, he should make a real effort and show Emma that he could get used to the modern life of Storybrooke. He wasn't ready to give up the leather though and it had taken him a while to find the right clothes but he was quite happy with the outcome. He just hoped she'd be too.  
It was almost 6 o'clock and he had nothing else to do. The restaurant was reserved, he had bought flowers – or rather _a_ flower – the clothes were on, the hand attached and now there was only time to kill.

He was nervous and waiting only made him more so. 300 years felt like a short time compared to the last hour of waiting. They'd been through so much together and he knew her better than she sometimes did herself and yet there were still so many things they hadn't spoken about. Her life, his life and most importantly where their lives were going together. Was she ready to commit to them? Was she finally willing to let him in? She already trusted him, something he knew she hadn't done in a long time. She feared for his safety – he'd promised her to survive for her – and she had let her walls down a bit. He knew she was a guarded person but he wanted to show her that she could be herself with him and he hoped this date was the start for something new.

His hands were sweating – the left hand felt strange – and he checked the clock again. If he walked slowly he could leave Granny's now and be at Mary Margaret's place on time.  
With a deep sigh he stepped out of his room, his heart pounding in his chest, a single rose in his left hand.  
Several times he had to remind himself to slow down. His nervousness made him walk faster though and before he knew it he was outside the apartment building. It wasn't 7 yet so he decided to pace the pavement for a few minutes.  
Was she ready yet? Was she as nervous as he was?  
When the clock tower stroke 7 he entered the building and walked up the stairs, stopping in front of the apartment door. He breathed in an out a few times, calming himself. He was known to be a player but this was serious, as serious as he had ever been and he had forgotten just how nervous he could get. Liam used to tease him when they were younger. He used to be the one chatting up young girls while he, Killian, had stammered his way through conversations. Liam had been the confident one. He'd taught Killian how to stand up for himself and how to become someone to lead others and not to be afraid. Without Liam, Killian would never have become a lieutenant. He had learnt to be confident and never went back to being a nervous boy. Now though, he felt like he was 16 again with only little confidence. No, he was not that boy anymore, he'd lived 300 years, fought his way through wars and enchanted lands, gained and lost a love and a ship only to end up here. Behind this door lay his future. He knew it more than ever. Emma was all that mattered and it calmed him down enough to finally knock on the door.

There was no reply at first so he knocked again, a bit more insistent and on his second knock, the door opened to reveal Emma as he had never seen her before and she knocked his breath away. He was completely lost for words. She looked more beautiful than ever and it had nothing to do with the dress she was wearing – which suited her exceedingly well. There was nervousness in her eyes but she looked relaxed, like this was all that mattered. She seemed slightly lost for words herself and he could see her taking in his new look.

"That's a first," she managed to finally croak out.

Startled, he focused on her eyes alone. He felt slightly weak in the knees. Was this actually real? Was she standing in front of him, waiting to go out, waiting to get to know each other in a different way than by running through woods?

"Hm?" he mumbled. "Oh…I…You look… stunning," he managed to add, stammering slightly and it made her chuckle.

"Not quite lost for words then."

He shook his head although he was _totally_ lost for words so instead he decided it was time for his big surprise.  
He slowly brought his left arm forward, the rose lightly between his fingers, all the while watching her face, her green eyes, her soft smile (he could not comprehend the emotions floating through him, filling his mind and soul, making him feel like this was the first time he saw her)  
Emma didn't seem to realise at fist what was different when she saw the rose but then she gasped when she realised what it was that had changed. But she took the rose with a delighted smile on her face and a spirited spark in her eyes.

"So, what do I call you now? Captain Hand?" she joked and it managed to lift the slight awkwardness resting between them.  
"Killian's fine," he smiled contently. "Are you ready to go, love?"

He was feeling much better now that this moment was over. Emma nodded and after saying goodbye to her parents – he was certain her father was going to say something to him but Emma was quick in taking his arm and steering out of the door – they made their way out of the apartment.  
The nervousness had completely evaporated and it felt so very right to have her by his side. They were walking down the stairs together, her arm linked with his, when she brought her hand to his and linked their fingers together.

"He's going to wait up, isn't he…" she mumbled under her breath, commenting on her last words to her father. Killian heard her and grinned.

"Of course he is. I wouldn't expect anything less from you father, sweetheart," he chuckled, squeezing her hand gently and leading her to their first real date and a second chance for both of them.

* * *

_I'd love to hear your thoughts ;)_


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